How Lucky I Am
“How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard.” – Winnie the Pooh
Recently I was fortunate enough to spend two months in Poland. Many people wondered how I was able to surpass the COVID-19 restrictions, and the reason is that I have a dual citizenship because both of my parents were born in Poland.
My entire family with the exception of a handful of people are still living in Poland. Despite the significant distance across the globe, I formed very deep connections with many of these family members and have been lucky to have spent almost three years of my life in Poland thus far. Ever since I was five years old, my sister and I have spent the entirety of our summer vacations in Poland with my aunt. However, this past summer marked the first time since 2005 that I was unable to visit this family due to the increase of COVID-19 cases spiking across the globe.
After finding out the entirety of my fall semester of college was moved online, I knew that I wanted to spend the majority of it in Poland. However, this would prompt many risks and downsides. I risked the chance of corona virus cases significantly spiking so much that I would be locked in Poland until further notice. I would also be taking eighteen credits abroad where the time difference is six hours ahead. That meant that some days, I would end my classes at 12am local time. In addition, being across the globe meant I would be leaving some loved friends and family behind, which is especially difficult for me as I thrive from community. However, my yearning to return to my family in Poland outweighed these factors.
Poland acts as my safe haven. It serves as my heavenly escape. Whenever I travel there, I know that I will come back feeling rejuvenated and filled with peacefulness. All of this was much needed as the stresses in my life in America started picking up. I was overwhelmed with family drama, stressed about having to complete my first semester entirely online, worried about corona virus cases spiking in my area, and just heartbroken with society’s new state of normality.
This time around in Poland looked much different than my prior trips. It was my first time visiting Poland in the fall which meant that I was not on summer or winter vacation like I was used to. Instead, I was forced to juggle an intense course load, maintain relationships with loved ones backed in America, try to regulate a steady sleep cycle, focus on my physical health, as well as cherish the time with my family as much as possible in Poland. Although challenging, I was able to manage it all to the best of my ability.
Something that always makes Poland so special is the people around me, especially my aunt who I am blessed to live with while I am there. When I think of the definition of love, my aunt comes to mind. We have been close ever since I can remember. She spoils me so much. She is so gentle with any action and is always sacrificing her time, energy, and resources for me. Most nights during my stay, she made me this delicious tea with honey and a slice of orange, which always helped me finish my night classes. She celebrated my academic accomplishments with me and comforted me during hardships from the semester. For example, I am grateful that she was the one who stood by me while I found out my study abroad trip to France was canceled, a life-long dream of mine.
My time in Poland was so desperately needed. Spending time with my grandparents was priceless. I loved playing card games with my grandma in bed while she was recovering from a serious surgery or eating pastries with my grandpa from the local bakery. I loved exploring beautiful, historic towns with my cousins and aunt, and exploring some of my new favorite restaurants. I enjoyed the simplistic lifestyle that I observed from polish citizens as I shopped at local bakeries or explored libraries while studying. It was a calming change of pace from my busy lifestyle back at home.
As a result, it is always heartbreaking leaving Poland and my family behind, and airports will forever hold a melancholy feeling in my heart. This time the pain was so unbearable that I strongly debated staying there until Christmas time. Ultimately, I decided to come back, but the transition has been difficult for me. Although I have missed family and friends in America, I miss the love that Poland never fails to give me when I need it most.
Another beautiful aspect about my time in Poland was its autumn. Although I have been lucky enough to have grown up in New England, which is known for some of the most gorgeous fall weather in the world, Poland’s fall foliage was just as extraordinary. Most mornings I would rollerblade around my aunt’s village and simply stare in pleasure at the beautiful sights around me. Although I see this process happening every year, I loved seeing the leaves change color on the trees and slowly make their way down to the bottom of the Earth. This was a comforting reminder that change is an inevitable part of life as life keeps moving forward.
Although my time in Poland for now has ended, I am reminded that my home is not there, but here in America with other friends and family. I am reminded that my specific pain and pain that 2020 has brought many of us will change and pass, just like the fall leaves. Instead of wallowing in my sorrows, I too need to march forward and be grateful that I had something that made saying goodbye so hard.
