Pain Demands to be Felt
The last few months, weeks, and days have been a relatively melancholy time for me. I think that this time has been a low point in a lot of people’s lives due to global affairs involving the COVID-19 pandemic and the protests for advancing the Black Lives Matter movement, as well as many other personal elements going on in everybody’s lives.
One of the things that has been bringing me down recently is that I failed this gateway securities exam for which I have been studying really hard for the last few weeks. I exerted a lot of my time and energy into preparing for this exam as well as sacrificed a lot of social interactions with loved ones in order to achieve the outcome I wanted. Failing this exam was a setback in my finance career. I try not to measure my worth in performance and academic achievements, but failing this exam made me feel as if my hard work got me nowhere and that I was incapable of attaining the goals I have laid out for myself. I have felt this theme play out in a few areas of my life.
I have also been low-spirited about the recent news in my university about having our semester shortened due to the COVID-19 virus. This entails having a handful of Saturday classes, eliminating a family weekend and fall break, being back home for my birthday instead of with college friends, and many other changes to the upcoming semester.
In addition, I am heartbroken that this virus is preventing me from seeing loved ones as often as I used to. For example, I have visited my family in Poland every summer for at least a month since I was five. This is the first time that I might not be able to see them, and this news really saddens my heart because I miss them tremendously and have not seen many of these family members in over a year. In addition, I feel as if other family and friends are hesitant to see one another and are taking extra precautions to be safe with the virus which is still heavily circulating in our society. I understand that this is for everyone’s safety, but it still does not undermine the fact that it brings many of us sorrow.
Sadness will come in go in everyone’s life because all emotions come in waves and will not last forever. Reflecting upon all my recent emotions reminded me of two beautiful quotes in my favorite book by my favorite author. John Green writes in The Fault in Our Stars, “Without pain, how can we know joy?” This is so accurate, especially in today’s age. I think that without the continuous changes and nuances of the last few months we would not be as appreciative of certain things we used to take for granted. Things we once viewed us normal, might become unordinary now. However, without change and the potential pain that comes with it, we would never realize how deeply we love other things and people in our lives.
Another one of my favorite John Green quotes is “Pain demands to be felt.” My brain has constantly been coming back to this quote during this time. My first way of dealing with pain is trying to push it away and ignore it. I think pain definitely diminishes over time. However, I also think that John Green’s words ring true. Pain demands to be felt. When we accept and acknowledge pain, we are no longer hiding from it. We become larger than the pain rather than the pain suffocating us. When we accept to feel our own pain then we are on the verge of recovery and healing from whatever is hurting us.
This is what has helped me overcome pain in the past, instead of running away from it and letting it control me. I know that this time has been a difficult one for so many of us for a wide variety of reasons. To a degree, this brings me comfort because I know that I am not alone in my sorrow. Please try to be there for one another. We may not all know how to help or what to say but acknowledging someone’s pain and simply sitting with them in their sadness can go a long way.
One of the things that has been bringing me down recently is that I failed this gateway securities exam for which I have been studying really hard for the last few weeks. I exerted a lot of my time and energy into preparing for this exam as well as sacrificed a lot of social interactions with loved ones in order to achieve the outcome I wanted. Failing this exam was a setback in my finance career. I try not to measure my worth in performance and academic achievements, but failing this exam made me feel as if my hard work got me nowhere and that I was incapable of attaining the goals I have laid out for myself. I have felt this theme play out in a few areas of my life.
I have also been low-spirited about the recent news in my university about having our semester shortened due to the COVID-19 virus. This entails having a handful of Saturday classes, eliminating a family weekend and fall break, being back home for my birthday instead of with college friends, and many other changes to the upcoming semester.
In addition, I am heartbroken that this virus is preventing me from seeing loved ones as often as I used to. For example, I have visited my family in Poland every summer for at least a month since I was five. This is the first time that I might not be able to see them, and this news really saddens my heart because I miss them tremendously and have not seen many of these family members in over a year. In addition, I feel as if other family and friends are hesitant to see one another and are taking extra precautions to be safe with the virus which is still heavily circulating in our society. I understand that this is for everyone’s safety, but it still does not undermine the fact that it brings many of us sorrow.
Sadness will come in go in everyone’s life because all emotions come in waves and will not last forever. Reflecting upon all my recent emotions reminded me of two beautiful quotes in my favorite book by my favorite author. John Green writes in The Fault in Our Stars, “Without pain, how can we know joy?” This is so accurate, especially in today’s age. I think that without the continuous changes and nuances of the last few months we would not be as appreciative of certain things we used to take for granted. Things we once viewed us normal, might become unordinary now. However, without change and the potential pain that comes with it, we would never realize how deeply we love other things and people in our lives.
Another one of my favorite John Green quotes is “Pain demands to be felt.” My brain has constantly been coming back to this quote during this time. My first way of dealing with pain is trying to push it away and ignore it. I think pain definitely diminishes over time. However, I also think that John Green’s words ring true. Pain demands to be felt. When we accept and acknowledge pain, we are no longer hiding from it. We become larger than the pain rather than the pain suffocating us. When we accept to feel our own pain then we are on the verge of recovery and healing from whatever is hurting us.
This is what has helped me overcome pain in the past, instead of running away from it and letting it control me. I know that this time has been a difficult one for so many of us for a wide variety of reasons. To a degree, this brings me comfort because I know that I am not alone in my sorrow. Please try to be there for one another. We may not all know how to help or what to say but acknowledging someone’s pain and simply sitting with them in their sadness can go a long way.
